Loss

Something a little different to share today.  I had wrote it not sure if I would post it or just have it written out for personal growth.  But after talking to a friend I felt I needed to share in case it could help someone else.

When you lose a spouse there are going to be  hard days.  Sometimes these days aren't going to be when you  might expect them to be.   I have found that what would have been my anniversary was easier than this past weekend, when we as a country were celebrating the lives of those who gave all for our freedom.
I lost my husband through divorce but when you lose a spouse, whether through divorce or death you (and your children) have to adjust to a different lifestyle.  As a married women part of my identity was not only as a wife but a military wife and that of a military lifestyle.  Being without that community is strange, honoring that community this weekend made me sad and miss that identity that I no longer claim.
Ultimately I know I am where I should be at this time.  I am comforted with signs, blessings and people that care.  I still maintain friendship with many of my military friends and work on creating friendships where I am planted. It is ok to grieve what was, that is normal and to be expected.  You need to keep swimming forward.  For me this is keeping my focus on God.  It is only through His strength that I can face the difficult road so well.  When you are going through hard times surround yourself with wise friends.  When facing the loss of a spouse look for groups like divorce care(they offer groups for children as well), grief share and single and parenting to help you grow through this time.  Read books on the subject you are going through, seek your pastor, seek counseling, journal and pray.  
I encourage you to get out and grow yourself from the circumstance you are going through, don't stay home and hide and hope things get better on their own.  Take that step out in faith, it may seem scary but you can do it!  You are loved, you are worthy.  Share with others, some will pray for you and others will learn from your trial.  Find your Joy in the midst of the storm.

Good books

 #5 has two favorite books these days. This one he reads all.the.time.  I love it, even if I roll my eyes at the hundredth reading of the day. If he forgets a word(picture) he asks then says "oh, yeah that's right."  in that tone that makes you think he was just testing you to see if you knew what you were talking about.  

Just makes me smile!

 His second favorite is an I spy numbers board book.  He loves looking for all the hidden objects.  We have several of this type in the house, the younger two really like these.  #4 will generally pick this type of book over most choices(although airplane and firefighter books rank pretty high on his book wishlist too).

We are a houseful of book lovers here:)

May days

Cute isn't he?!  Also didn't want to leave and delighted in being out of reach...

 

He is going to be in 7th grade next year, 7th grade people!!  Where does the time go?

 

He slept the whole 2 hours we played.  You snooze you loose;-)

 Science time, air vibrations.

 Love the calm, cute and cuddly guys.

Hang ten!

Those lovely locks are going to be cut soon.

  riding time at Grammy's= happy girl

 man of many faces

Back in time

 We had a visit to Jefferson Barracks last week and the kids saw their first reenactment.  

WWII

 A favorite part might have been the "easter egg" hunt.....

 to find the empty shells after the battle was finished.

Although some of the older kids did enjoy going to the camps and asking questions and check out some of the equipment.

ps yes I need a new cover/case for my phone. we keep forgetting we can't take pictures with the old covering on the new phone ;-)

Play Ball

 #1 at third(with sis as short stop)

I missed the first games today but all the grandparents are really good about sending me pictures of the kids when I'm not with them.  These were sent to me from my Dad while I was busy at school.

My leftie at bat.

 #3 trying to stay awake? :D

#4 focused

Everyone had a good time and they were excited to tell me that all their teams won!

Shopping

This video makes me smile.  Smart phones are great devices when shopping with lots of kids.  I get all kinds of funny pictures and videos.  Sometimes they play games or watch netflix too!  Please don't mind the crusty nose on the boy ;-)

Another Birthday

Birthday Morning, the children had put a banner up and had cards and balloons for me!

We spent part of the day at Missouri Botanical Gardens.  

ps Military friends, they have a really good discount when you visit.

I really wanted a picture with a waterfall, trying to sneak one in before people walked by didn't work out so well and remains the only picture taken of me on birthday :D

We decided to go to China for the day, got the robes and #2 dished out some stir fry for us.  They had camera's that made the kids go on the big screen-a big hit for my hams!

 

The only time I didn't hear "I'm hungry."  "My feet are tired." is when they ran around this maze playing hide and seek(the ran forever at the end of our time there!).  

beautiful