Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Something a little different to share today.  I had wrote it not sure if I would post it or just have it written out for personal growth.  But after talking to a friend I felt I needed to share in case it could help someone else.

When you lose a spouse there are going to be  hard days.  Sometimes these days aren't going to be when you  might expect them to be.   I have found that what would have been my anniversary was easier than this past weekend, when we as a country were celebrating the lives of those who gave all for our freedom.
I lost my husband through divorce but when you lose a spouse, whether through divorce or death you (and your children) have to adjust to a different lifestyle.  As a married women part of my identity was not only as a wife but a military wife and that of a military lifestyle.  Being without that community is strange, honoring that community this weekend made me sad and miss that identity that I no longer claim.
Ultimately I know I am where I should be at this time.  I am comforted with signs, blessings and people that care.  I still maintain friendship with many of my military friends and work on creating friendships where I am planted. It is ok to grieve what was, that is normal and to be expected.  You need to keep swimming forward.  For me this is keeping my focus on God.  It is only through His strength that I can face the difficult road so well.  When you are going through hard times surround yourself with wise friends.  When facing the loss of a spouse look for groups like divorce care(they offer groups for children as well), grief share and single and parenting to help you grow through this time.  Read books on the subject you are going through, seek your pastor, seek counseling, journal and pray.  
I encourage you to get out and grow yourself from the circumstance you are going through, don't stay home and hide and hope things get better on their own.  Take that step out in faith, it may seem scary but you can do it!  You are loved, you are worthy.  Share with others, some will pray for you and others will learn from your trial.  Find your Joy in the midst of the storm.